John Kline Franked Me! - Part 1

The mailman delivered an interesting piece the other day; a letter from that noted "fiscal conservative", John Kline, to me, the ol' TwoPutter. And it's interesting, because not only did it have John Kline's signature where the stamp should be, it's interesting because my address is in a district that isn't represented by John Kline. Why is John Kline sendin' franked mailings to the ol' TwoPutter? Inquiring minds, want to know! So, I called Kline's Burnsville office.....

....and a guy by the name of "Dan" answered the phone. I asked "Dan" why I would get a Franked mailing from John Kline; "Dan" said it was because I was a constituent. I informed him that no, I was not a constituent; I don't live in the 2nd; exactly how did Kline's Office get my name; and by the way, "Dan", what's your last name? "Dan" replied: "uh, can you hold on a minute?"

Next on the phone was "Chaz" (and he did give me his last name), who at first insisted there's a part of my town that's in the 2nd - and he was checking to see if I was in it. Chaz was also checking to see if I "was in their computer." I told him I wanted to know exactly how it came to be that John Kline "franked" me. Eventually, Chaz gave me the double-negative, which kinda suprised me. Not that I wasn't in the 2nd; I KNEW that - knew it without a doubt. No, I was surprised because I thought for sure the ol' TwoPutter was in "The John Kline Enemy List". But, even if the ol' TwoPutter was in "The John Kline Enemy List", it certaily would NOT be listed with my full legal (including middle) name -- but that's a tangent.

Ladies and Gentlemen, the letter I got from John Kline, clearly - and I quote - states "This mailing was prepared, published and mailed at taxpayer expense." And the way it was addressed sure looks like it was mailed from a bought list. I told Chaz that it looked like Kline bought a list and that's how I happened to get "franked", which Chaz discounted - he told me that that would be wrong, and they wouldn't do that. I then told Chas I was a blogger, and would be writing about this.

And I asked Chaz if he was categorically denying that Kline bought a mailing list, and that's how I ended up getting "franked."

Chaz wouldn't categorically deny that, but he did take my phone number and told me he'd find out how, exactly, I came to get "franked", at taxpayer expense, by that noted "fiscal conservative", John Kline. Somehow, I doubt he will - that's simply not John Kline's style.

So, I guess I'll just have to get to the bottom of this, myself. I know, I know - it's a lousy job, but somebody's gotta do it!!! And, here's how you can help!!!

Ladies and Gentlemen, have any of you been "franked" by that noted "fiscal conservative", John Kline? What about your family, friends, and/or neighbors?

If you and/or they have been franked, send a note to me, the ol' Twoputter.

Oh - and call (952) - 808 - 1213 to tell that noted "fiscal conservative", John Kline, how much you "appreciate" his "fiscal conservatism."