Norm's press secretary tries to scare Fergus Falls natives on Friday the 13th

Luke Friedrich, Press Secretary for Sen. Norm Coleman's reelection campaign, tried to scare the natives of Fergus Falls, MN last Friday. He hoped the combination of lying about Norm's record, discussing how mean Al Franken is and Friday the 13th would scare good people of Fergus Faers to their senses and help his boss keep his job. Let's start with how scary and mean Al Franken is:

This week Al Franken kicked off his general election campaign and made a stop in Fergus Falls. As Minnesotans can expect over the next five months, Al went on the attack against Senator Norm Coleman, without talking about Norm Coleman's record of helping folks in Greater Minnesota.
(Fergus Falls Journal)

How dare Al Franken bring up the disastrous Iraq War and Norm's unfailing support for it. Franken has such gall to remind Minnesotans that Norm has performed virtually no oversight of the Bush Administration's corruption, incompetence, hubris and greed. Why can't Al play MN-Nice and not remind Minnesotans that the economy stinks as a result of Norm's support of Bush Administration economic policies. It simply isn't fair for a Democrat to bring up all the insurance companies, HMOs and pharmaceutical companies donating to Norm's campaign and how he has pushed their agendas to the detriment of Minnesotans healthcare needs.

Al should be talking about how many Guatemalan adoptions Norm has smoothed. Franken should talk about how hard Norm worked to help rebuild the I-35W bridge in Minneapolis (without discussing how Republicans like Norm are responsible for underfunding our transit system causing the collapse in the first place). Or Al should talk about how many healthcare forums he has held once he read the polling data that healthcare was one of Minnesotans top three issues (Without, of course, mentioning Norm's reelection year flip-flops ... it is not MN-Nice to talk about this voting record ... sheesh) or ...

Norm has also led efforts to increase our use of renewable energy. He co-authored and helped pass the first-ever Renewable Fuels Standard that has led to a booming ethanol industry in rural Minnesota, he has fought to reduce our dependency on foreign oil through higher fuel economy standards, and he has been a relentless advocate of a comprehensive energy plan that includes wind, clean-coal and additional production.
(Fergus Falls Journal)

Al shouldn't mention that Norm opposed fuel standard increases until he had a reelection year epiphany (and it would be just plain mean and angry to call it a flip flop). It wouldn't be nice.

In Fergus Falls, the VA facility proudly serves those veterans who have served our nation. With Norm's support, funding for veterans' programs has increased by 67% since he took office. Additionally, Norm successfully worked with colleagues from both parties to establish the first-ever national reintegration program for returning troops, based on Minnesota's highly-successful Beyond the Yellow Ribbon program.
(Fergus Falls Journal)

And how dare Al Franken mention Norm's votes opposing properly armoring our troops and their vehicles. How dare he talk about Norm underfunding the VA. Norm went on "dog-n-pony" shows in Iraq and says he "supports the troops" at every possible opportunity he can. Everyone knows that if a Republican says something enough, it must be true. Don't you all watch Fox News? C'mon ...

These are just a few of the many examples of Norm Coleman working to address the serious needs of rural Minnesota. Al Franken's accusations and angry rhetoric about Norm Coleman are not rooted in fact. Rather, they are an attempt to avoid his own record as a comedian who has attacked and offended folks of every stripe – while doing nothing to improve the lives of Minnesotans.

Al Franken is right: we need a senator who is serious. Norm Coleman is and has been that senator for the folks in Fergus Falls, Otter Tail County and all of Minnesota.(Fergus Falls Journal)

See? Luke Friedrich said "serious needs" and he says that Norm is the "serious senator for the folks." So it must be true. Never mind those pesky facts. Plus, Norm's jokes are ingratiating and lame so he must be the serious candidate ... he certainly can't be the funny one.

Luke Friedrich desperately wants Minnesotans to ignore certain facts about Norm Coleman. To do anything else is "angry rhetoric" that is "not rooted in fact." Good luck, Mr. Friedrich, attempting to bamboozle Minnesotans into thinking that the Iraq War is not a disaster. A quagmire for which Norm Coleman has been a cheerleader. A financial black hole into which Norm has happily poured billions upon billions. A war that was poorly planned, excrementally executed and all the while discussed in the most hopeful and positive terms (considering its a disastrous quagmire) until the Republican landslide losses in 2006 after which Norm voiced a brief and tentative opposition to the surge before returning to his cheerleader role.

Good luck, Mr. Friedrich, in convincing Minnesotans that Norm's inability to investigate any substantial allegation against the Bush Administration and their handling of Iraq and Afghanistan is not important. Norm was Chair of the Permanent Subcommittee on Investigations from 2003 to 2007. He could investigate anything he wanted. He only investigated the UN Oil-for-Food program, Heckuva Job Brownie and Federal Employees who abused travel perks to the tune of millions of dollars (hello? The Bush Administration lost pallets of greenbacks in Iraq ... billions of dollars ... hello?).

But this is the essence of Norm-speak^TM. Hide the truth behind silky words that slip between glistening white teeth. It's just this time it wasn't Norm talking, it was his mouthpiece.